To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize