so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
