you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
