guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
As shirtless as possible
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
