thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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