1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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