plz talk dirty to me
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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