Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.

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(619): View more from California

If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.

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(641): View more from Iowa

Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.

(844): View more from

Oh its going to be that type of weekend?

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(519): View more from Ontario

It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...

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(812): View more from Indiana

Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.

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