I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
