Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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