the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
