I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
