are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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