Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
