ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
