I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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