HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
