That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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