The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
the day after is always just damage control
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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