Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
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