ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
