Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dicks are not precious.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
