Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
