He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
