Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
