I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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