and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
