Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
That's how pantless uber rides happen
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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