official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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