Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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