Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You don't make any sense
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