do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
