Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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