Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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