...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
