Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
