Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
