Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
