next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
