I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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