He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Help. Why am I so naked?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
