just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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