So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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