I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How does one acquire holy water?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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