Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
