He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
