My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
