He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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