They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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