That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
