Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
