did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
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