obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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