even my farts smell like vagina
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
