Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
