Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
