Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
