I think I died a long time ago.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
