I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
