Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize