I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
