We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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