Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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