omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
