Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
