we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
