easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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