Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize