i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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