I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
