He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
