You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize