So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize