I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
