the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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