Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
