You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
