he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
