Fine. I'll sleep in my office
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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