We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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