its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
