come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
