Got a toothbrush?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
